Keeping it Real - My Recent Bout of Anxiety
Last night I got to hang out with 3 of the most special people in my life. It had been a rough afternoon, with some huge cash flow issues in my face, so a night out was exactly what I wanted and needed. We laughed so hard that our laughter had the entire restaurant laughing with us. The perfect medicine to end the day.
I went to bed still smiling and so grateful for my inner circle and how much they make me laugh out loud, yet, I woke up in the early hours of the morning in such a state of anxiety that my whole body was shaking. In the past few weeks of my full on life, there have been some major highs and some scary lows in both matters of the heart and matters of business.
My heart was racing and my blood pressure was on the rise. I tossed and turned and tried to breathe it out, but no amount of breathing was helping me. I tried a gentle guided meditation only to switch it off because my foot was twitching so badly.
I was pining for a love that was lost and I was panicking at the cash flow situation I was in and I was doing it all at once. If I had some ones arms around me to hold me, I probably would have calmed down a little and been able to get some rational thinking back into my crazy brain, but that was gone too and so I was alone and had no choice but to support myself.
After hours of trying to go back to sleep and calm down, I knew that enough was enough and I had to get up and shift my state the only way I knew how.
4am and up I was, a short black in hand and my workout gear on, I started to move my anxiety out of my body. I stood at the end of my bed, clenched my fists and punched down on the bed as hard as I could for 1 minute without stopping. Using power statements repeatedly with every punch like “I CAN DO THIS, I WILL DO THIS, I AM DOING THIS, my mind started thinking about what was possible rather than fear. With a 30 second rest, I started again, teeth gritted, fist clenched, punching as hard as I could, repeating the same thing over and over. With a sweat raised along with my heart rate, I decided one more round was in order. My arms were shaking a little, however my mind was all of a sudden not thinking about ANYTHING except getting through the next round.
By the time I was done, I lay on the floor and breathed long and slow to bring my heart rate back down and my body was filled with an overwhelming feeling of calm which was also happening in my mind.
I could see clearly again and I knew exactly what I needed to do today to handle the obstacles I had facing me. I wrote a list of about 10 different actions I could take to make a difference to the cash flow, I wrote a list of all the people who loved me unconditionally.
My anxiety was alleviated enough for me to take positive action, I was moving forward again and all in 3 minutes with nothing but my fists and a bed. Who would have thought? Give it a try next time you feel stressed out about something that you can’t get past with breathing.